Ask Me Again

So here I sit at my desk praying over little Madilyn and knowing that I need to tell everyone what's been going on with me spiritually. How God has been at work in yours truly. For those of you who don't know, I get together every week with a group of five of the most God desiring men you'll meet. We call ourselves The Focus Group. They are my brothers in Christ - Bryan Simpson (my blood brotha), Collin Day (my before shot brotha), Brandon Poor (my brotha with a taser) and Brian Lane (my brotha next door). I love these guys so much and praise God for them daily. They push me. They uplift me. They inspire me. And its the last point that I write in reference to. They inspire me.

Recently I have had an internal conflict warring inside of me. A battle between keeping my rep intact and serving God. Truly serving God that is. You see as most of you know I am a Christian. I don't really pull too many punches about it, but the problem is that I play it cool. I'm one of those cool Christians or so I would want you to think. The truth is that I'm a Jesus freak. I've wrestled with this thought for a while now. I find myself at work sitting there contemplating how I can show people who I desire to be, but not to look like a looney bird doing it. To sort of be this discipling Rico Suave (old wrestler reference - all you youngins can wiki him). Ya know...calm, cool, and collected.

With all that being said, I am here to tell you that the war is over. The battles have been fought and Ricko is dead. The Holy Spirit destroyed him. No more calm, cool and collected. My change in heart has recently come about throught a succession of experiences in my life. Saturday which was Valentine's Day, me and my bros went to the Union Gospel Mission to serve lunch to some folks who needed some lovin'. I can hardly start to write about it because I'm not that poetic but, to say the least, it was an amazing couple of hours. We met some really sweet folks and it truly felt as though I was the one being blessed throughout the whole ordeal. God is good.

So Tuesday night, the Focus Group reconvened and during the course of the night Collin shared a wonderful story of how he had the opportunity to help feed lunch to a homeless youth on his way to lunch during his work break. He admittedly said that he thought to walk away from the guy out of a pure cultural reflex but turned and said yes knowing this was an opportunity to make the God of the Universe smile. It turned out that it was one of the same young men that we had served Saturday at the mission. Collin was able to cater to him physically and spiritually during his time at lunch and I praise God for delivering Mr Day to that young man. So while Collin is telling the story of the fated luncheon, I couldn't help but see a wild, boyish exuberance in his eyes. He was thrilled! And we were all thrilled for him.

Stick with me. I'm not rambling, I promise. We have been meditating over a passage in Ezekiel. Ezekiel 33 to be exact. Take time to go grab your Bibles. I'll wait for you. Read it real quick. This will make more sense once you have. Are you back? Cool. Awesome isn't it? Challenging, isn't it? True, isn't it? For those who have a King James Version (first of all get a bible that speaks your own language - you live in Texas not Wales - try the American Standard), I'll explain. The chapter says that we must warn the wicked to turn from their way, that they may live. If souls perish through our neglect of duty to warn, then we bring guilt upon ourselves. A commentary in my Bible reads ... How much wiser are men in their temporal than in their spiritual concerns! They set watchmen to guard their houses, and sentinels to warn of the enemies' approach, but where the everlasting happiness or misery of the soul is at stake, they are offended if ministers obey their Master's command, and give a faithful warning. They would rather perish, listening to smooth things. If we do not warn others of where their sin will lead them and tell them of the good news of Jesus Christ, then their blood is on our hands. It's a powerful word.

So after these two instances and bit of scripture have been doing battle against Mr Cool Christian, my big brother in Christ and in momma shows up. Yep, Uncle B himself. Some might know him as Cap'n Dook although I have a new nickname for him in Newbie. He deserves the nickname because he is most certainly a New Bryan in Christ. If you haven't been on hand to witness what God has done through Newbie then take the time to ask him. He'll tell you. Ask him what God has been doing through those around him since Newbie showed up. He'll tell you...with a big inspired grin on his face. I praise God for giving me a new big brother. As you may know Newbie has a talent. He's a songwriter and a darn good one too. Well, truth be told he's a good songwriter on his own, but let me tell you what.....oh man...when the Holy Spirit is guiding his lyrics...oh man....there's none better. He finished a song today called The Watchman which is based upon Ezekiel 33. He sent it to me via email to take a listen. I did. And I almost punched a hole through the roof of my car as I listened because I became so on-fire and convicted to share God's word with everyone. The song is sung from the perspective of a friend of Bryan's who has died. One of the verses in the song says

"Was your God too good for me
You keep Him hid out of sight underneath your sleeve
Was it not for me as well his blood was shed
You say you loved me brother but you left me for dead

Who leaves someone they love for dead"

It is an amazing song about a lost opportunity to share the one thing we know to be true in our lives just because we don't want to rock the boat a bit. I will post it on here as soon as he gives me the go ahead so it can bless all of you as well and not to mention light a fire under some.

So there it is. The knockout punch. Goodbye Rico. Please pray that God will continue to strip away any and all vanity I might have and to be bold in speaking the truth to those seek it. I don't want anyone to perish and to eternally exist separated from my Heavenly Father just because I didn't feel comfortable bringing up the subject. Because I don't feel comfortable? Because it might get awkward. Really? Is this what goes through our heads? From here on out I'm going to do one of two things. I'm going to stand before strangers, friends, and family and boldy proclaim the truth of the Gospel or I'm going to stand before the throne of God and scream at Him that I don't trust Him and that I'm ashamed of Him. Which will you choose? Those are the options. Please think about what I have written here. Pray and meditate on this notion. God's own word says that their blood is on our hands. What kind of friend are we to them if we don't cry out to them to save their lives?

I want to make it very clear that I realize that not everyone who reads this blog is a Christian. I wasn't either until I was introduced to Jesus Christ and learned of the amazing gift He offers. I thought that it was all well and good but I didn't really understand. I do now. I want to apologize for my behavior in the past. For the times where I was immature, for the times when I neglected you, for the times when I let you pass by me and I simply offered up "How ya doin'?" Ask me again. Ask me again "How ya doin'? of "What's going on?" I'll tell you. I can't wait to tell you.